Me: Have you seen my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: Yes, he’s outside on his lounger playing Cheeky Animals.

Me: Who is he playing with? I can’t see anyone.

Nell: Nobody. He’s just practising.

Me: But you can’t practise without someone else.

Nell: Of course you can. How on earth do you think Poppy became champion?

Me: Talking of Poppy? Have she and Harriet sorted out their differences?

Nell: Yes, the shock of Poppy’s dancing partner put all thoughts of Elliot out of their heads.

Me: That sounds worrying. Who is it?

Nell: Stephen Seagull.

Me: Stephen Seagull? The evil head of the Beefies?

Nell: Yes, that one.

Me: Oh my goodness. Poppy is going to have her paws full.

Nell: Personally I think it’s an excellent decision. She rarely dances without her sword.

Me: He’s a nasty piece of work.

Nell: Yes, it seems extraordinary to me that such a villain can have sweet Susan as his daughter.

Me: Humphrey Heron brought her up.

Nell: True. You know Susan is dancing too, don’t you?

Me: I had no idea. With Malcolm?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Malcolm’s not a professional dancer.

Me: No, I didn’t think so. Who is Susan’s professional partner then?

Nell: Babycakes Gillespie.

Me: That’s an interesting combination.

Nell: I thought so, too.

Me: Was that your iBone?

Nell: It’s just my friend Dorothy.

Me: The Salcombe Setter?

Nell: Yes. She’s been tinging me all morning.

Me: Maybe you should see what she has to say.

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: Dorothy has been paired with Paolo the Portuguese Podenco.

Me: I didn’t know Dorothy was a dancer.

Nell: She isn’t. When will you realise that only one in each pair is a professional?

Me: Oh yes. Sorry.

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