Me: What’s the matter with you?
Nell: Don’t ask.
Me: Did you get out of bed on the wrong side?
Nell: My bed is on the sofa. There is only one side.
Me: It’s just a saying. Did someone burn your toast?
Nell: No. I didn’t have toast this morning. Manuel made me pancakes with maple syrup and a little bacon on the side.
Me: How very North American of him.
Nell: Yes. He’s a huge fan of Rhubarb.
Me: With pancakes?
Nell: No. Rhubarb the Bernese Mountain Dog. She is joining Strictly as one of the professional dancers.
Me: I still don’t see where pancakes fit in.
Nell: Rhubarb is from Canada. Do keep up.
Me: Talking of Canada I have some wonderful news. Chris and Shannon are flying over for Christmas.
Nell: Finally some truly excellent news and something to look forward to.
Me: Yes, Chris wants a proper English Christmas.
Nell: Then that’s exactly what he will have.
Me: So, what’s wrong with you?
Nell: Anton just called me about the third judge.
Me: Who is it?
Nell: You’re not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: It’s Princess.
Me: Princess? But she’s a seal.
Nell: Don’t be so sealist.
Me: No. You’re right.
Nell: I’m not right but that’s what Anton said to me when I expressed my misgivings.
Me: I have to say Princess isn’t my first thought when it comes to dancing.
Nell: Apparently Princess has ‘just the right amount of enthusiasm and warmth needed to counteract Nell’s censorious style.’ I quote.
Me: A head judge has to be a bit censorious.
Nell: All Princess does is clap.
Me: It’s a seal thing.
Nell: You do realise we are going to be subjected to weeks and weeks of this.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
