Nell has some Exciting News

Me: Look at you all cheerful and smiley like the cat who got the cream.

Nell: The Cat doesn’t like cream. It’s watching its figure.

Me: You know exactly what I mean. What’s going on?

Nell: If you must know I’ve had some rather exciting news.

Me: Do tell.

Nell: Strictly have asked me to be their head judge.

Me: You? Are you serious?

Nell: Of course I am. I’m awfully experienced you know. Anton just called me on the iBone.

Me: Anton did?

Nell: Yes, Anton Du Bark, the lithe whippet. My old dancing partner. You must remember him.

Me: Oh, that Anton.

Nell: Yes. He’s one of the judges too this year.

Me: Are we still talking about Strictly?

Nell: Yes. Strictly Come Prancing. What’s the matter with you?

Me: Oh, I thought you meant Dancing.

Nell: I do. It’s a dancing competition held every year. Gladys is one of the regular professionals and they’re trying to persuade Beauregard to join them.

Me: You should definitely do it, Nell. You would be marvellous.

Nell: That’s what The Cat said. It’s in charge of costumes again.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: But do I have the time, or the inclination? I’m a senior Labrador now. Should I be slowing down?

Me: You would be absolutely perfect, Nell. Your no nonsense attitude is just what they need.

Nell: I will need to maintain complete impartiality throughout, however, which is going to be very hard.

Me: Why?

Nell: David is one of the professionals.

Me: My Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: Yes. He is extremely popular with the general public, of course.

Me: I can just see him in his top hat and tails.

Nell: Just the one, thank you. Dancing with a tail is difficult enough, believe me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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