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Cuddles with Kev

Nell: Have you seen Harriet? David needs her right now.

Me: Don’t disturb her, Nell. She’s on the yellow chair with Kev having Special Cuddles.

Nell: We don’t have time for that.

Me: But you should see her little face. It’s all slitty eyed and smiley.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: You know the way her face goes when she’s feeling emotional.

Nell: Harriet is in charge of logging all sightings. She can’t just lounge around cuddling.

Me: Can’t Dave do the logging himself?

Nell: Certainly not. Those binoculars are heavy.

Me: Is it the pearl wearing Beefy again?

Nell: Yes, and it’s brought along a friend.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: In a diamond tiara.

Me: How inappropriate.

Nell: Yes. That’s exactly what I said to my friend Dorothy. Who wears a tiara on a Friday morning?

Me: Is Dorothy here then?

Nell: No, I texted her on our WoofsApp group.

Me: What’s the group called? The Nosey Barkers? See what I did there?

Nell: Very funny.

Me: I wonder why the Beefies are wearing the stolen jewellery instead of selling it.

Nell: Beefies are notoriously greedy and excessively rude. They like nothing more than to flaunt and taunt.

Me: You are right.

Nell: It’s the same when they steal chips and ice cream from innocent tourists down on the quay. They can’t resist flying around screaming.

Me: They are very loud.

Nell: And tone deaf. A Beefy could never join a choir. They can’t hold a tune.

Me: Would they want to?

Nell: Oh yes. Several attempts have been made to join the Welsh Corgi Choir.

Me: Really?

Nell: As if wearing a fur hat is going to deceive anyone.

Me: Quite.

Nell: Anyway, tell Harriet the cuddles are over. There’s logging to do.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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