Nell: Is that a pirate ship?
Me: I don’t know, Nell, I’m at home.
Nell: It is and I think I saw Princess in a pirate’s hat earlier playing Cheeky Animals.
Nell: Maybe I’m hallucinating. It’s rather hot.
Me: Have you checked WoofsApp lately?
Nell: No. I have other things on my mind at the moment.
Me: Have a look.
Nell: Oh. There’s a photo of Rupert in a hat.
Me: Is it knitted?
Me: Does it suit him?
Nell: Yes. But that’s not the point.
Me: Is it a bit piratey?
Nell: There’s no such word.
Me: Is it though?
Nell: Yes, and there’s a message.
Me: What does it say?
Nell: ‘I’m coming to get you.’
Me: There you are then.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: All’s well. Knitwear Wolf is on his way.
Nell: But Rupert isn’t a pirate.
Me: He is now.
Nell: Are you telling me that Rupert has turned bad?
Me: No, He’s pretending he wants the jewels when really he wants you.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I mean he wants to rescue you.
Nell: And Princess? I thought she was with SLOP.
Me: You mean the Sea Lion Ocean Pirates?
Nell: So they’re on board, too?
Me: No. They’re in the sea. Now, make sure you all look deeply shocked when Rupert’s ship arrives.
Nell: Even Poppy?
Me: Poppy can be shocked and annoyed but no sword fighting.
Nell: Not even with Lionel?
Me: Only when it’s safe to do so. Remember you had no idea that Rupert was a pirate.
Nell: Neither did he until you came up with the idea.
Me: How did you know it was me?
Nell: Only you would think of a story like this.
Me: You know me well. Sorry.