Me: Harriet seems alert this morning, unlike you.
Nell: What’s that supposed to mean?
Me: You seem perfectly relaxed.
Nell: I am. I just had a delightful piece of hot buttered toast with some of Poppy’s marvellous marmalade and a cup of Earl Grey.
Me: Sounds delicious.
Nell: It was.
Me: So, what did Harriet have? Spicy eggs?
Nell: Spicy eggs? Where did you get that idea from?
Me: She seems a bit on edge and chilli can do that to you.
Nell: Harriet is not on edge. She is On Guard.
Me: I knew something was going on.
Nell: Nothing is going on. Yet.
Me: But it might be?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Please tell me.
Nell: I’m not sure you can be trusted.
Me: I can, Nell. We all can.
Nell: Sally has been in touch.
Me: Well, that’s not terribly exciting. She and Dave are always on WoofsApp.
Nell: Actually Sally has been in touch with Harriet in an official capacity.
Me: As a spy?
Nell: Quiet. Please try to be a little more discreet. Anybody could be listening.
Me: I forgot.
Nell: Sally has reason to believe that The Beefies are planning an attack.
Me: Oh no. Who are they targeting this time?
Nell: Gladys and the llamas.
Me: Gladys and the llamas? That’s awful. Why?
Nell: They mean to disrupt tomorrow’s Maypole Dance.
Me: But they’ve been practising for weeks.
Nell: I know.
Me: They’ve got new hats and The Cat has made ribbons. The Welsh corgi choir are singing.
Nell: I’m afraid several Beefies have been spotted sharpening their beaks.
Me: They’re going to stab the llamas. Poor innocent creatures. Tell Poppy to fetch her sword.
Nell: Calm down. Nobody is stabbing anyone. They are planning to cut the ribbons.
Me: Oh, I see. Sorry.
