Me: Could we discuss muddy paws, please?
Nell: Can’t we talk later? David and I are enjoying the early morning sunshine.
Me: I only just cleaned the floor and look at it now?
Nell: I don’t know what you expect us to do.
Me: Couldn’t you wear slippers like Kev and I?
Nell: I beg your pardon? We aren’t all llamas.
Me: What does that mean?
Nell: Haven’t you noticed their slippers?
Nell: We can’t take our paws off at the door.
Me: I know that. But you can wipe your paws on the mat.
Nell: We do.
Me: You most definitely don’t.
Nell: Sometimes we simply don’t have the time.
Me: Everything is covered in mud. Even the chairs.
Nell: Stop making such a fuss. It’ll rub off eventually.
Me: I know it will. On me and Kev.
Nell: Perhaps you can provide towels and warm water and wait at the door to wash and dry our feet as we come in?
Me: I’ll be there all day then, Nell. There are so many of you. If you could just wipe your feet on the mat.
Nell: We are certainly intending to do that, so the thought is there.
Me: Intending isn’t doing.
Nell: Don’t you always say, ‘It’s the thought that counts’?
Me: That’s something else entirely.
Nell: Maybe slippers are the answer. We would need them in a wide range of sizes, of course, and labelled with each animal’s name.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: There would have to be pairs at the front and back doors and a place to store them. I’m sure Poppy won’t mind them cluttering up her kitchen.
Me: I give up.
Nell: Was that all? Only David and I want to make the most of the sun.
Me: Yes. Sorry.