Nell: Happy Birthday to you.
Me: Thank you. I could have done without the Mariachi band first thing this morning.
Nell: The Whippets Institute insisted.
Me: It’s not the gentlest way of waking up, Nell.
Nell: Try wearing this giant hat all day.
Me: Your hat is quite large.
Nell: It’s ridiculous.
Me: I think it suits you. Harriet seems to love hers.
Nell: You know what she’s like about hats. Can’t get enough of them.
Me: Kev and Dave are very stylish.
Nell: Yes, the boys look extremely smart.
Me: Poppy seems a bit disgruntled.
Nell: There was a mix up with one of the cakes.
Me: Dave?
Nell: Yes. You are going to have to change out of your all encasing hat and into a sombrero quick smart.
Me: Why?
Nell: We’re having a ceremonial second breakfast.
Me: Huevos rancheros?
Nell: Bless you. No, Mexican eggs. Poppy got the recipe from one of The Cat’s chihuahuas.
Me: That’s what I said.
Nell: I’m not going to argue with you because today you can do no wrong, but we both know that isn’t true.
Me: I didn’t know The Cat had chihuahuas.
Nell: Everyone knows that. Now, I know you didn’t want any fuss.
Me: Says the Labrador in the huge hat.
Nell: I shall ignore that. So I have written you a short poem.
Me: Thank you.
Nell: ‘Today is your birthday
So let’s shout Olé!’
Me: I’d rather you didn’t.
Nell: Be quiet. May I continue?
Me: Yes.
Nell: ‘Because we all love you
More than words can say.
You are our person
And we are yours too.
You are the sock
And we are the shoe.’
Me: I think I’d rather be the shoe.
Nell: But what do dogs love most?
Me: Oh, I see. Sorry.