Bob is not my Uncle

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy is looking awfully hungry.

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: Dave is drooling again.

Nell: Stop waving a bacon sandwich at him then. Good grief.

Me: He’s already had two, Nell. This one is mine.

Nell: That’s a rather selfish start to the day.

Me: Unbelievable. I happen to know that you and Knitwear Wolf were cosily eating your sandwiches in front of the fire.

Nell: So?

Me: You didn’t offer any of yours to me.

Nell: You were writing upstairs.

Me: I was until Dave popped upstairs to tell me to hurry up and grab a sandwich before they had all gone. Bless him.

Nell: Hats off to David for ingenuity.

Me: Why?

Nell: You’ll weaken and he knows it. Now, have you told everyone about these Black Friday Weekend offers on your book yet?

Me: No.

Nell: The nice people at Gazelle Book Services are knocking 50% off the price of your book this weekend. All people have to do is enter the code GZBLACKF20.

Me: And Bob’s your uncle.

Nell: Bob is certainly not my uncle. He’s a retired ex services Border Terrier.

Me: It’s just a saying. Anyway, if anyone is thinking of buying the book as a Christmas present then please take advantage of this deal.

Nell: I think you shared the link in your story too.

Me: Yes, I did. Why have the Welsh corgi choir arrived? It’s not Sunday.

Nell: Costume fittings with The Cat. Some of their woolly jumpsuits are a little tight.

Me: I hate it when that happens.

Nell: Please tell me you’re not going to be wearing a woolly jumpsuit.

Me: No. Mine is silver like the Talking Bowl.

Nell: You are not going on stage. Especially in a silver jumpsuit.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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