Little Ollie auditions for a part

Me: Hasn’t Little Ollie grown?

Nell: Yes, he is such a lively, happy pup.

Me: Tony says he’s a Mummy’s boy.

Nell: You can see that he is well loved by the whole family.

Me: Yes, you can.

Nell: Anyway, Ollie is auditioning for the pantomime, so we are considering him as a Junior Ranger.

Me: He won’t have to trek across Dartmoor will he?

Nell: I beg your pardon? This is a pantomime, not a full length feature film. We aren’t going on location.

Me: Of course not. I was getting carried away.

Nell: We’re hoping to use the fields for some of the scenes and Princess’s pool will be the sea, but most of it will be in The Barn.

Me: Where are the larger animals going to sleep?

Nell: There’s plenty of room. Don’t fuss.

Me: I was thinking about the Seven Woofs.

Nell: No. You are the Talking Bowl. The Seven Woofs are already cast.

Me: Who are they then?

Nell: Henry and Horst are Wise and Witty Woof.

Me: But we can never hear anything they say.

Nell: David can. Anyway, they are going to have head mics. Where was I?

Me: The Seven Woofs.

Nell: Yes. Princess is playing Wilful Woof and Alejandro is Woolly Woof.

Me: Rather unusual names.

Nell: Malcolm has been persuaded to play Whimsical Woof and Babycakes Gillespie has been cast as Weary Woof.

Me: Because of his sad ears?

Nell: Yes, and generally low demeanour.

Me: We are missing a Woof.

Nell: That’ll be Wibbly Wobbly Woof.

Me: Wibbly Wobbly?

Nell: Yes. Manuel is perfect in the part.

Me: But he’s an octopus. Only one of the Woofs is a dog.

Nell: None of the Snows are polar bears, but that doesn’t seem to bother you.

Me: No. Sorry.

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