Me: Why are you giving me that look?
Nell: I’m resting.
Me: Poppy says the Anger Management class was great fun.
Nell: Have you talked to Malcolm?
Me: No. He didn’t come down to breakfast this morning.
Nell: He’s probably completely exhausted.
Me: But I thought it went well. What happened?
Nell: Knitwear Wolf dropped them off at the venue and they went inside. Malcolm said he felt uneasy at once because it was full of angry animals.
Me: I wouldn’t like that either.
Nell: Poppy loved it. She told Malcolm the place had ‘a great vibe.’ Her words. She was really fired up.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: When the mediator came out Poppy recognised him immediately from her yoga class.
Me: Was he a Beefy?
Nell: No. Beefies don’t do yoga. It was AJ the gardening Afghan’s cousin, Peter.
Me: Peter the Afghan doesn’t sound right.
Nell: Well, that’s his name. He wears his hair in a pony tail and calls everyone ‘My friend.’
Me: How welcoming.
Nell: Malcolm liked him immediately.
Me: I bet he did.
Nell: Unfortunately nobody else did.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: He asked them all to introduce themselves so Poppy jumped on the table and shouted ‘I’m Poppy Martin. Anyone got a problem with that?’
Me: Had anyone?
Nell: No, they all cheered, so she said ‘I’m here because I whacked a Beefy and I’m not sorry.’
Me: She isn’t.
Nell: Everyone applauded, especially Babycakes Gillespie.
Me: Babycakes Gillespie?
Nell: Yes, the gangster pug from Plymouth. Wears pinstriped suits and smokes cigars.
Me: Are you winding me up?
Nell: Certainly not. Anyway, Babycakes took a shine to Malcolm. He’s invited him over to dinner.
Me: That’s kind.
Nell: Malcolm can’t have dinner with a gangster. He’s not that kind of flamingo.
Me: No. Sorry.