Me: What on earth is Harriet doing out there? She looks terrifying.
Nell: She’s practising her war cry. Impressive, isn’t it?
Me: It’s Monday morning, Nell. Do we have to start the week like this?
Nell: Poppy is going to her Anger Management class today so we’re all helping her get in the zone.
Me: Is that why Malcolm is wearing a saucepan on his head?
Nell: No. That’s for protection from wild Beefies.
Me: Why is Poppy wearing her suit of armour?
Nell: Paw Warned is Paw Armed.
Me: She’s going to collapse in this heat.
Nell: You might have a point. Maybe The Cat has some chainmail lying around.
Me: What’s wrong with a tracksuit?
Nell: You’ll be suggesting trainers next.
Me: Better than those big boots.
Nell: Those are her fighting boots.
Me: It’s about Anger Management, Nell not fighting.
Nell: We know the Beefies are planning something.
Me: I hope not.
Nell: Everybody has had a fighting breakfast this morning so we are all well fuelled.
Me: What is a fighting breakfast? Muesli and fresh fruit?
Nell: Don’t be silly. Steak and eggs, of course, with a mug of Builder’s tea.
Me: Malcolm doesn’t eat steak.
Nell: His was tuna.
Me: How is Poppy getting there?
Nell: Knitwear Wolf is going to take her on his motorbike. Malcolm will travel in the sidecar.
Me: She can’t wear two helmets, Nell. She’ll have to take the suit of armour one off.
Nell: Yes. This might need re-thinking.
Me: In fact, some might even say, the last thing you need after a huge breakfast is to be riding around on a motorbike in armour driven by a wolf in a knitted suit with a flamingo in the sidecar.
Nell: Well, they would be wrong.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
