Anger Management Day

Me: What on earth is Harriet doing out there? She looks terrifying.

Nell: She’s practising her war cry. Impressive, isn’t it?

Me: It’s Monday morning, Nell. Do we have to start the week like this?

Nell: Poppy is going to her Anger Management class today so we’re all helping her get in the zone.

Me: Is that why Malcolm is wearing a saucepan on his head?

Nell: No. That’s for protection from wild Beefies.

Me: Why is Poppy wearing her suit of armour?

Nell: Paw Warned is Paw Armed.

Me: She’s going to collapse in this heat.

Nell: You might have a point. Maybe The Cat has some chainmail lying around.

Me: What’s wrong with a tracksuit?

Nell: You’ll be suggesting trainers next.

Me: Better than those big boots.

Nell: Those are her fighting boots.

Me: It’s about Anger Management, Nell not fighting.

Nell: We know the Beefies are planning something.

Me: I hope not.

Nell: Everybody has had a fighting breakfast this morning so we are all well fuelled.

Me: What is a fighting breakfast? Muesli and fresh fruit?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Steak and eggs, of course, with a mug of Builder’s tea.

Me: Malcolm doesn’t eat steak.

Nell: His was tuna.

Me: How is Poppy getting there?

Nell: Knitwear Wolf is going to take her on his motorbike. Malcolm will travel in the sidecar.

Me: She can’t wear two helmets, Nell. She’ll have to take the suit of armour one off.

Nell: Yes. This might need re-thinking.

Me: In fact, some might even say, the last thing you need after a huge breakfast is to be riding around on a motorbike in armour driven by a wolf in a knitted suit with a flamingo in the sidecar.

Nell: Well, they would be wrong.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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