Cheer up Tony

Nell: I’m glad to see you’ve joined in our Cheer up Tony campaign.

Me: I thought an ice cream might help.

Nell: David has told him that the Only Six People rule won’t be for ever and his Old Gaffers Shanty Crew will sing again.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And Tony said, as soon as it’s safe, David will be asked to join them.

Me: I’m not sure he can make all the rehearsals, Nell.

Nell: No. As a guest star.

Me: Oh, I see. That would be wonderful.

Nell: Yes. We need something to look forward to in these troubled times.

Me: I’ll tell you what gladdened my heart.

Nell: What?

Me: Talking to a nice man called Gary at your pet insurance.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: I couldn’t access the portal.

Nell: I’m not even going to ask what a portal is.

Me: I couldn’t get online. Anyway, you know how you can wait for ages and have to press 1, then 4, then 1 again?

Nell: I get the idea.

Me: And some dreadful music keeps repeating and a voice says ‘You are 156th in the queue. We will answer your enquiry as soon as we can.’

Nell: I think you’ve done this before.

Me: Well, none of that happened.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: I chose a number and there was Gary. Friendly and chatty and talking to me like a real person.

Nell: You are a real person.

Me: People don’t always take the time to listen.

Nell: That’s exactly what I said to my friend.

Me: Pamela, the Pyrenean Mountain Dog?

Nell: No. Marjorie, the Springer Spaniel.

Me: Oh.

Nell: I said ‘Marjorie, sometimes it’s like talking to a squirrel.’

Me: A squirrel?

Nell: Squirrels never listen. Everyone knows that.

Me: I didn’t. Sorry.

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