Nell: Why are you taking a photo from behind the gate?
Me: It’s an artistic shot.
Nell: Don’t be silly. Leave that to the professionals.
Me: I quite like it.
Nell: Can you just open the gate now, please? I’ve got wet paws.
Me: Yes.
Nell: All is well on the Harriet and Jim front, by the way.
Me: Good.
Nell: She asked Jim about it and he laughed.
Me: Why?
Nell: It wasn’t a flirtation. It was Joan Collie.
Me: Does she have a sister called Jackie?
Nell: How did you know?
Me: A wild guess. Who is Joan Collie?
Nell: She’s old enough to be Jim’s grandmother for a start.
Me: Well, that’s a relief.
Nell: She looks ever so much younger, however, so you can see how the mistake was made.
Me: But why was Jim eating an ice cream with her?
Nell: She invited him. She rather enjoys the company of handsome young hounds.
Me: He could have said no.
Nell: Nobody says no to Joan.
Me: Oh, I see.
Nell: She is best friends with The Cat. I’m surprised you haven’t bumped in to her before now, actually.
Me: So am I.
Nell: I’ve had some extremely happy French lunches with Joan and The Cat.
Me: What’s a French lunch?
Nell: It always involves champagne.
Me: What fun. I’m surprised the cows didn’t recognise her.
Nell: It wasn’t the cows who saw Jim and Joan. How many cows have you seen down on the Quay?
Me: None to be fair. Who was it then?
Nell: A short sighted antelope with time on its hooves.
Me: I thought you just said antelope.
Nell: I did.
Me: What was it doing on the Quay?
Nell: On holiday I expect. Those antelopes get everywhere.
Me: I see. Sorry.
