Me: I know you’re watching me, Nell.
Nell: I’m doing nothing of the sort.
Me: You’re hiding by the stair gate.
Nell: I am merely enjoying some peace and quiet.
Me: At the bottom of the stairs?
Nell: Why not?
Me: So it has nothing to do with roast beef sandwiches?
Nell: Of course not.
Me: Only it’s funny how you all gather when there is food around.
Nell: The kitchen is the hub of the house. Everyone knows that. Now, how is the Birthday Boy this morning?
Me: Very touched by the lovely birthday wishes from everyone. That was quite a party.
Nell: Yes. It never ceases to amaze me how light the larger animals are on their hooves.
Me: It was good of Laberace to bring his piano.
Nell: It goes everywhere with him.
Me: I bet he wishes he played guitar.
Nell: Why?
Me: It was a joke, Nell. Easier to carry.
Nell: Talking of carrying, did David just walk past carrying someone in my handbag?
Me: Yes. Benjamin. I’m afraid he’s a little bit the worse for wear this morning so my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy is looking after him.
Nell: I’m not sure being carried around in a handbag is the best idea for a hangover
Me: Possibly not. We got a terrible review for the book, by the way, Nell. One star.
Nell: You can’t please everyone.
Me: No, you’re right.
Nell: Just move on. Water under the bowl.
Me: You mean bridge.
Nell: What have bridges got to do with it? You know perfectly well that water tends to get under the bowl.
Me: Yes, because you’re such messy drinkers.
Nell: That is not the point. Water dries. It’s Monday. A new week. Bowls can always be refilled.
Me: I see. Sorry.
