Me: Dave is outside staring at the sky.
Nell: I know.
Me: Yes, but Walter isn’t even there so he can’t be playing Cheeky Animals.
Nell: He isn’t.
Me: You never just tell me, do you? I always have to ask.
Nell: It might be confidential. I’m not like the cows you know. I don’t gossip.
Me: So why is Dave gazing at the sky?
Nell: He’s waiting for news.
Me: Now you’re being really annoying. It could be news about anything.
Nell: Yes, I suppose it could.
Me: News about what?
Nell: The intervention. Benjamin Beefy cannot continue in his present role.
Me: As a travelling salesbird?
Nell: As a Beefy. He needs to become Benjamin Seagull.
Me: I completely agree. If the product was a bit nicer he might have continued but Gull No. 5 smells awful.
Nell: That is not the point. Benjamin is not cut out to be a member of an evil gang. He’s too nice.
Me: Yes, he is. Honestly, when he and Malcolm are together they could be twins. All those ‘Excuse me’s’ and ‘Would you mind’s?’
Nell: Malcolm is a flamingo.
Me: I didn’t mean identical twins.
Nell: Never mind. Anyway, David has taken on the role of Mediator. As the Daily Growl’s new agony uncle he is well placed to give advice.
Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Walter has kindly agreed to deliver a message to Stephen Seagull asking for a meeting.
Me: A meeting here?
Nell: No. In David’s consulting room.
Me: You mean Kev’s garage.
Nell: Don’t split bears. You know exactly what I mean.
Me: Don’t you mean split hairs?
Nell: Certainly not. What on earth have hares got to do with it? Everyone knows bears like to stay in twos.
Me: I didn’t. Sorry.
