A Wet Wednesday

Me: It’s a bit wet and windy today, isn’t it?

Nell: Yes, it is.

Me: You’ve got seeds all over your face and I’ve got them on my wellington boots.

Nell: I would like to talk to you about your boots.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Most people’s wellington boots are green.

Me: Paddington’s aren’t.

Nell: Yes. Well, that says it all, doesn’t it?

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: The idea is to blend into the landscape not stand out a mile, and you are not a small bear from Darkest Peru.

Me: I have size 2 feet, Nell. I have to buy children’s boots.

Nell: You can wear a 3 in a boot and you know it.

Me: Yes. I think these are a size 3. I got them with Jonathan Sky when he was visiting. His aren’t green.

Nell: Jonathan’s boots are camouflage ones and perfectly acceptable. Yours are not.

Me: Anyway, I’m not a big fan of rain, even though the garden needs it. It dampens the spirits. See what I did there?

Nell: Well, Princess and Our Penguin absolutely love it. They’ve been outside filming since first thing this morning.

Me: Are they filming ‘Dancing Treat to Treat’?

Nell: No, that’s more of an evening show. I think it’s a documentary. ‘Life in the Lockdown.’ They were interviewing the llamas.

Me: Their pyjamas must be getting awfully soggy in the rain.

Nell: Sogginess never bothers a llama. They are naturally optimistic and extremely sociable creatures, apart from the occasional spitting of course.

Me: I wish they wouldn’t do that.

Nell: It’s their way of disciplining those of a lower rank.

Me: Is that how they see me then? Only they spat at me earlier.

Nell: I told you not to wear those boots.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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