Oh dear

Nell: This is disgraceful. Look at Kev’s sun hat. It’s in tatters.

Me: I know, but it’s a bit funny, too, Nell.

Nell: It is not.

Me: Kev’s laughing.

Nell: Who is responsible for this outrage?

Me: It’s actually Kev’s fault. He left it lying around.

Nell: That does not mean it has to get eaten.

Me: True. I think it was just a simple mistake.

Nell: I have to say that all three of them look guilty.

Me: Yes, they do.

Nell: I am ruling out Poppy. She may have known about it but I doubt she was heavily involved.

Me: Probably not.

Nell: Harriet has a history of eating cushions.

Me: Yes, she does.

Nell: So she’s most certainly on the list of suspects and will be questioned later.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: The animal with the guiltiest face, however, is definitely David.

Me: My Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: Guilt is written all over him.

Me: He looks very sorry but then he knows Kev loved that hat.

Nell: Quite.

Me: Isn’t there anyone else?

Nell: Don’t start blaming The Cat, please.

Me: No. That’s old hat. See what I did there?

Nell: Stop. I’m expecting David to make a full confession by the end of the day.

Me: Or the next few minutes.

Nell: There’s only one punishment for this.

Me: No bacon?

Nell: Yes, only cereal for breakfast for the next few days but that’s not enough.

Me: Don’t send him to jail.

Nell: What? No, he will make Kev another one. Bad behaviour comes from Boredom. We need a distraction for idle paws.

Me: How?

Nell: Both David and Harriet will join The Cat’s sewing class. It’s on YouChewed, so can be done anywhere. Jail? Honestly? He only ate a hat.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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