Me: Why is Dave looking at me like that?

Nell: He thinks you’re not coming back.

Me: I’m just going up to London to collect Alice, Jonathan and Faye. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Nell: I’ve told him, but he won’t believe me.

Me: He’ll be smiling when I bring them home.

Nell: He’s stopped smiling. He’s cultivating the moody look.

Me: Why?

Nell: The penguin says he looks cool.

Me: Does the penguin have a name, or is it like The Cat?

Nell: I have no idea. I can’t think of anyone less like The Cat, apart from encouraging everyone to show off.

Me: Did I hear Harriet say Sally has been in touch?

Nell: Yes. Apparently there is a rumour that The Hunter is in our area.

Me: Is it hunting the larger animals? Only if it is, we need to tell them to lie low.

Nell: No. I’m talking about The Hunter. A member of the Black Claw. Trying to turn naughty animals bad. He, or she, is working undercover.

Me: Oh yes. I remember. Is that why Harriet keeps watching us all and making notes?

Nell: Probably. Henry and Horst definitely know something, but they are keeping tightlipped.

Me: Do woodlice even have lips?

Nell: That’s not the point. Everyone is under suspicion at the moment.

Me: Well, I’m not The Hunter. I know I wore my all encasing hat yesterday, but only because of the wind.

Nell: We know you’re not. Good grief. The mere idea.

Me: Maybe it’s the penguin.

Nell: If it is, then it’s not exactly discreet. Wearing a sou’wester hat and carrying a film camera.

Me: What if it’s someone we know.?

Nell: Stop fussing and get on the train. You’ve got a daughter and two grandchildren to collect.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Now, Alice and the grandchildren are arriving from Germany tomorrow, so you are probably feeling a little over excited.

Me: I am. I can’t wait to see them.

Nell: Is that another penguin filming outside?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Just ignore it. It will get bored soon.

Me: Not that soon. Gladys is doing a contemporary dance and Alejandro is singing ‘Spanish Eyes’.

Nell: Those two love being in the limelight.

Me: I don’t.

Nell: Well, you are going to have to get used to it with the book coming out soon.

Me: I’m not a limelighty sort of person. It’s more your kind of thing.

Nell: Oh no you don’t. I am staying firmly in the background, thank you.

Me: Talking of limelight, I’m surprised Dave hasn’t joined Gladys.

Nell: He did a performance earlier with Mutley. ‘Puttin’ on the Ritz’. It was rather impressive. Top hats, tails and canes. I’m not at all sure the neighbours appreciated it, but the penguin certainly did, and the Farm Dogs demanded an encore.

Me: Mutley is on excellent form, isn’t he?

Nell: Yes. He says his engagement to Joyce has given him a new lease of life. I’m delighted for them both.

Me: So you think Joyce is genuine?

Nell: Yes, I do. She says from the moment she met Mutley she fell for him book, wine and stinker.

Me: Don’t you mean hook, line and sinker?

Nell: No. Mutley is not a fish. He loves his books and his wine.

Me: And the occasional stinker? It can happen.

Nell: I was going to say strong cheese. You know how partial he is to a piece of Stilton and that’s what he was eating when he first met Joyce. Honestly, whatever did you think she meant?

Me: I was confused. Sorry.

Me: Why are you all hiding upstairs? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.

Nell: We’re comforting David and avoiding the Welsh corgi choir.

Me: Why would you do that? It’s St. David’s Day. The Welsh national day.

Nell: David mistakenly thought it was his special day so now he’s disappointed

Me: My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy. What about the choir?

Nell: They’ve asked Poppy for something unacceptable for lunch.

Me: Not leeks, because dogs can’t eat those?

Nell: No. They want a Welsh rabbit. The mere idea.

Me: They don’t mean rabbit, Nell. They mean rarebit. Welsh rarebit. It’s made with toast and melted cheese.

Nell: I don’t care how they pronounce it, or if it’s served with a cheese sauce and toast on the side, no Welsh rabbits are going to be harmed.

Me: There isn’t any rabbit in it, Nell. It’s just a name.

Nell: So, the Welsh corgi choir only want cheese on toast for lunch?

Me: Yes.

Nell: What a relief. I’ll go and tell Poppy.

Me: In a minute. Have you seen Mutley today?

Nell: I saw him at Sunday Songs. He seemed extremely cheerful.

Me: Did he tell you?

Nell: Tell me what?

Me: Something rather worrying happened yesterday.

Nell: Well, go on. Bark it out.

Me: You know leap day is traditionally seen as the day when women can propose?

Nell: Yes. Is this going to be a long story? Only Poppy needs to start melting cheese.

Me: Joyce proposed and Mutley said yes.

Nell: I’ve nothing against Joyce but that’s a little hasty. I realise he’s 16 but they hardly know each other.

Me: It’s a terrible idea. We have to stop it happening.

Nell: It’s Mutley’s decision. Not ours. You must respect it.

Me: But I don’t trust her. Sorry.