Me: Our beautiful Harriet. She looks a little concerned this morning, though.
Nell: Yes, I’m afraid someone has been reported to the Head of Security for inappropriate behaviour.
Me: It wasn’t Gladys, was it?
Nell: No. Why?
Me: I think she’s been using the Farm Dogs’ trampoline to practice her somersaults.
Nell: She’s been doing that for weeks. Nobody cares. It’s attention seeking if you ask me.
Me: Was it one of the larger animals?
Nell: Alejandro accidentally spat at a passing poodle, but apologies have been made.
Me: How did it happen?
Nell: It was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.
Me: What’s wrong with that?
Nell: In the rain? Highly suspicious. He acted spontaneously.
Me: It was probably an optimistic poodle.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: On holiday and hoping for some sunshine.
Nell: If you must know, it was someone most unexpected.
Me: I bet it was Joyce.
Nell: No. It was Malcolm.
Me: Malcolm? I don’t believe it. He is the politest flamingo I’ve ever met.
Nell: Not anymore.
Me: What has he done?
Nell: He made prawn macarons for breakfast.
Me: That’s disgusting.
Nell: Yes. When Poppy challenged him he said ‘Gotcha’ and laughed.
Nell: He’s not been himself for a while.
Me: In what way?
Nell: He’s been doing a lot of singing recently. Myfanwy was telling me.
Me: There’s no harm in that.
Nell: No. We expect the odd show tune, but not rap. He’s a flamingo, not a duck.
Me: Do ducks rap then?
Nell: The drakes are known for it. Anyway, David is on the case now.
Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He’ll have it all ‘rapped’ up in no time. See what I did there?
Nell: Good grief.
Me: I’ll get my coat. Sorry.