Me: Thank you for the wonderful welcome home.
Nell: The Welsh corgi choir insisted on performing.
Me: The children loved it.
Nell: Good. Now, at Morning Thoughts today we agreed the children should be assigned bodyguards due to the possible presence of The Hunter.
Me: Don’t tell me. Dave volunteered.
Nell: Yes, David did put himself forward as did a number of the larger animals. But in the end we decided on Henry and Horst.
Me: Henry and Horst? What are woodlice going to do if The Hunter attacks?
Nell: The Hunter doesn’t attack. The Hunter whispers and manipulates. Henry and Horst are ideally placed to alert HQ if they notice anything amiss.
Me: I suppose so.
Nell: They are also light and easily transported.
Nell: As Harriet is busy working closely with Sally on uncovering The Hunter, David has stepped up as Head of Security.
Me: My Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He has an excellent team of trained professionals behind him.
Me: Has he hired someone in then?
Nell: No. We have Monty, a member of the Canadian mounted police and Alejandro the fighting alpaca.
Me: Hang on a minute. How did Alejandro become a fighting alpaca?
Nell: Alejandro has a black belt.
Me: I didn’t know he was trained in the martial arts.
Nell: He isn’t, but The Cat made him a fighting belt and he knows how to spit.
Me: You’ll be telling me Gladys is a professional next.
Nell: Of course she is. Latin Dance champion for 2 years running. Do keep up.
Me: So what exactly is our new Head of Security planning?
Nell: Bacon sandwiches for everyone and dippy eggs for the children. An animal marches on its stomach and we need to build up our strength.
Me: Of course. Sorry.