Nell: What a lovely photo. Hasn’t Faye grown?
Me: Yes, and Jonathan is such a caring big brother.
Nell: Of course.
Me: It’s so lovely to have them here. Lots of kisses and cuddles.
Nell: Harriet and Poppy are the same. David is still moody. He refuses to believe you’ll be back this afternoon.
Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. By the way, you’re not going to believe this.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: We looked out of the hotel bedroom and guess what we saw?
Nell: A plane?
Me: No. A penguin in a tree.
Nell: Penguins don’t climb trees.
Me: With a film camera. What a coincidence is that?
Nell: It’s not a coincidence. A penguin hasn’t randomly chosen a tree outside your hotel window to do some filming. It must have followed you.
Me: Really?
Nell: Was it wearing a hat?
Me: Yes. A rather nice knitted one. I wondered if it was from Knitwear Wolf’s new range.
Nell: That’s immaterial. Anyway, we have some news.
Me: Have you found The Hunter?
Nell: You’ve only been gone a day. No. David was chatting to the penguin.
Me: What about?
Nell: Not a lot, to be honest, as it only appears to know one word.
Me: What is it?
Nell: Cool. David said they had quite a long conversation before he realised it hadn’t actually understood anything he’d said.
Me: Why?
Nell: It only understands Swedish.
Me: How do you know?
Nell: Now, this might surprise you, but Joyce can speak a little Swedish.
Me: Excuse me?
Nell: When she saw a Beefy feeding the penguin a mackerel she thought it was worth a try.
Me: There is something very fishy about this.
Nell: Do stop. Just bring them home. We’re waiting for you all.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
