Nell: You won’t believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: There was a tiny dachshund puppy in the bag.
Nell: Yes. His name is Frank and he wants to meet The Queen.
Me: So my Big Brave Beautiful Boy decided to make his dream come true?
Nell: David cannot go around stealing puppies.
Me: But Frankie wanted to come here.
Nell: Don’t start calling him Frankie. I know where that will end.
Me: It still wasn’t kidnapping. Dave would never do that.
Nell: I have to tell you that David is not at all sorry and is being completely defiant. In fact he seems rather proud of himself.
Me: Surely not.
Nell: And every time I tell Frank he has to go home he just smiles and eats another piece of bacon.
Me: Is there bacon then?
Nell: Of course there is bacon. Emergency situations demand bacon sandwiches and cups of tea. Everyone knows that.
Me: I think Frankie should be allowed to visit The Queen.
Nell: I knew you would say that.
Me: I noticed he is wearing a coat.
Nell: He’s a puppy. Do you want him to freeze?
Me: No, I just wondered where it came from.
Nell: The new Pupwear line.
Me: Do we know how David found him?
Nell: Not yet but we soon will. Charlie is talking to them both now. Mutley is sitting in on proceedings and Joyce is taking notes.
Me: Joyce? What she’s got to do with it?
Nell: Mutley can’t hear, so Joyce is being his ears.
Me: I’m not sure about that, Nell. She isn’t coming to the Palace, is she?
Nell: Of course she is. You don’t think we would let that wretched peacock come along and not Joyce, do you?
Me: Of course not. Sorry.