Nell: You are not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: Look at this photo.
Me: It’s darling Mutley laughing.
Me: Actually, it’s a younger Mutley. Where did you find it?
Nell: Now, this is going to surprise you and I was only on there doing some research for a friend.
Me: On where?
Nell: Plenty of dogs.com.
Me: I don’t think I know it.
Nell: You must. It’s a famous dating site.
Me: Are you online dating? Charlie will be furious, Nell.
Nell: No, I just told you I am merely helping a friend.
Nell: Never you mind. Let’s just concentrate on Mutley. Goodness knows what he’s been up to.
Me: You mean Mutley is online dating?
Nell: Look at his profile. ‘Dog about town and entrepreneur looking for a lovely lady to take to the ball.’
Me: Well, good for Mutley. What ball?
Nell: Count Bingo Flamingo’s Valentine’s Day Ball of course. Do keep up.
Me: I didn’t know.
Nell: He has it every year. Haven’t you noticed the excitement?
Me: I thought it was because of the royal visit.
Nell: That’s delayed until next week due to the inclement weather.
Me: What a shame.
Nell: It gives us time to sort out a few things. Transport for a start. The large animals ran riot in that horse box. Knitwear Wolf has suggested a double decker bus.
Me: Now, that’s an idea. Do you think we should talk to Mutley about this dating thing?
Nell: There’s no point. He can’t hear.
Me: Maybe he should have mentioned that in his profile.
Nell: You mean ‘Applicants in writing please, as I am hard of hearing.’
Me: Something like that.
Nell: Don’t be silly. It’s all by text nowadays, anyway.
Me: Of course. Sorry.