Me: Where are the girls?
Nell: In your bedroom with David. Poppy is consoling Harriet and Gladys is in my handbag.
Me: Why?
Nell: Because David brought it upstairs. You know he likes carrying it around and Gladys has started sleeping in it again since the weather got colder.
Me: I mean why does Harriet need consoling?
Nell: Harriet says Jim has a wandering eye.
Me: Jim the Farm Dog?
Nell: Of course.
Me: He is completely devoted to Harriet. She knows he is.
Nell: Well, apparently he woofed at a passing Golden.
Me: Retriever?
Nell: Yes.
Me: With beautiful long blonde hair?
Nell: Exactly. Like Sally.
Me: Maybe it was Sally and he was just saying hello?
Nell: But Sally is in London.
Me: But is she? Sally is a spy.
Nell: I hadn’t thought of that. Charlie will know.
Me: Surely Dave should know. He is her boyfriend.
Nell: When it comes to spying she tries to protect David as much as she can. He wears his heart on his face.
Me: You mean sleeve.
Nell: I do not. David isn’t wearing sleeves and if he was why would he do that? Ridiculous idea.
Me: Yes, it is when you say it like that. It comes from Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’. If you wear your heart on your sleeve birds will peck at it.
Nell: Well, that’s not happening. The Beefies would have his heart in an instant.
Me: True.
Nell: Anyway, now Harriet thinks she needs to change.
Me: But she doesn’t. She’s perfect as she is. Apart from the cushion chewing.
Nell: That’s what Poppy says. Haven’t you seen her Ted Talk on You Chewed? She is an excellent motivational speaker.
Me: Go Poppy. Girl power.
Nell: Do stop. You are not a Spice Girl.
Me: No. Sorry.
