Me: Harriet looks concerned. Is it the Mondays?
Nell: No. It’s Malcolm.
Me: Why? What’s happened?
Nell: He snapped at Susan. He said she was too grey?
Me: Malcolm always loved Susan’s grey feathers.
Nell: Yes. But Nasty Malcolm only likes strong colours.
Nell: Knitwear Wolf is on his way.
Me: He’s not going to eat Malcolm, is he?
Nell: Malcolm isn’t Little Red Riding Hood. Although, he would probably approve of her colourful outfit.
Me: Is Knitwear Wolf going to reason with Malcolm?
Nell: No. He’s bringing him a scarf.
Me: I hope it’s colourful.
Nell: Yes. I contacted Myfanwy earlier on WoofsApp and the Welsh corgi choir knitted one quickly. Orange, pink and green.
Me: Very garish.
Nell: Yes. He will love it.
Me: I know the scarf will improve Malcolm’s mood but we really need to know what’s going on.
Nell: The scarf will be bugged. Henry has kindly volunteered.
Me: He’s a brave woodlouse.
Nell: The small are often the most courageous. Look at Poppy.
Me: True. I’ve noticed she’s started carrying her sword again.
Nell: It’s a precautionary measure. She points it at Malcolm when he gets mouthy.
Me: Has Malcolm been rude to her?
Nell: Oh yes. After the croissant incident you would have thought he’d learned his lesson but quite the opposite.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: The bacon needs to be crispier, the eggs softer, the toast toastier.
Me: Goodness me.
Nell: He has even started to throw things away and you know how Poppy hates wastage.
Nell: Fortunately David is usually on paw to catch whatever is thrown and Harriet is happy to help.
Me: Is that why everyone is waving bacon?
Nell: No. It’s Canadian Thanksgiving and we always wave bacon. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.