Me: I think Dave missed me.
Nell: We all did.
Me: I was only gone one night.
Nell: Yes but David suffers with Separation Anxiety.
Me: He likes everyone to be together. Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: We all do. Henry was most concerned about Horst.
Me: I suppose he would have been.
Nell: Those woodlice are joined at the hip.
Me: Do woodlice have hips?
Nell: That’s not the point.
Me: No. I suppose it isn’t.
Nell: An undercover operation like that involving crossing borders and enemy lines is a major undertaking.
Me: He only went to Heathrow on the train.
Nell: Concealed in a shawl. Anything could have happened. You were unaware so you could easily have lost him.
Me: You should have told me he was in my shawl.
Nell: And defeated the point of the whole exercise? No, it was worth the risk. Both Horst and Walter did well.
Me: What information did Horst give Walter about me, anyway?
Nell: Just the usual. ‘Subject ate a hearty dinner including ice cream’. Things like that.
Me: It wasn’t a hearty dinner.
Nell: That’s not the point. Operation Bait the Beefy is ready to go.
Me: How exciting.
Nell: Scarves are knitted and ready for distribution.
Nell: Bugs are trained and battle ready.
Me: They can’t be expected to fight.
Nell: Some can bite if necessary.
Nell: Pigeons are poised to receive and transmit.
Me: I wish they’d stop shouting ‘Work harder, stupid’.
Nell: Yes, that’s annoying. But they can’t start being nice, or they will raise suspicion.
Me: Imagine if you heard them saying ‘Well done, Sweetie’.
Nell: Why on earth would they say that? Pigeons only criticise. Everyone knows that. Honestly I despair of you sometimes. I really do.
Me: Yes. Sorry.