Me: Why is Kev laughing with Dave?
Nell: He just read Doug the Pug’s interview with Bert the shorn sheep.
Me: Was it good?
Nell: It’s complete and utter nonsense.
Me: What on earth did he say?
Nell: Do you want me to read it to you?
Nell: ‘As I was settling down for an evening snooze I heard beautiful fairy music coming across the field.’
Me: BBC Introducing play some strange stuff in the evenings.
Nell: No. It wasn’t the radio. Shall I continue?
Nell: ‘I looked up and saw it was pan pipes played by a magical curly haired camel with no humps.’
Me: Of course it was.
Nell: Wait until you hear the next part.
Me: There’s more?
Nell: This is just the beginning. Where was I?
Me: Pan pipes and a humpless camel.
Nell: ‘Then a tall hairy gentleman in a green dress started singing while a long haired fairy tale creature began to dance.’
Me: Not something you see every day.
Nell: ‘I was transfixed.’
Me: I don’t blame him.
Nell: ‘Suddenly a beautiful princess appeared with conker brown hair and gentle eyes. She told me to go to sleep and all would be well.’
Me: Did he go to sleep?
Nell: Yes. He was awfully tired by then.
Me: I’m not surprised.
Nell: ‘When I woke up I had lost my fleece.’
Me: Poor Bert. Was he devastated?
Nell: No. He says ‘The funny thing is that it’s the best cut I’ve had in a long while.’
Me: This is going to sound strange but I feel like I’ve seen those creatures before.
Nell: Don’t be silly. The sheep was obviously drugged.
Me: But it was a happy haircut by kind creatures.
Nell: Just listen to yourself.
Me: Yes. Sorry.