Kev is 60 today

Me: I love this photo of you and Kev.

Nell: Yes. Is the Birthday Boy enjoying his special breakfast?

Me: Yes. Poached eggs on toast and a mug of tea.

Nell: There were supposed to be sausages but David ate them by mistake.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Now, there was a minor mishap with the trampoline last night but fortunately no one was injured.

Me: What happened?

Nell: Mutley and Alejandro had a few ports too many and decided to go trampolining.

Me: I don’t think it was made for an alpaca.

Nell: No. Gladys is not amused and spent the night in my handbag.

Me: I wondered why Mutley was wearing sunglasses.

Nell: Anyway, I have written a poem for Kev. Would you like to hear it?

Me: Yes, please.

Nell: ‘You are 60 today

We can’t believe that it’s true.

You don’t look any different

You just look like you.

We don’t want you to change

So stay just as you are.

Best beloved Kev

Our shiniest star.

We love you so much

More than hot buttered toast

More than bacon and sausages

Or even a roast.

So let’s all just party

As we Martins can

And celebrate Kev

The head of our clan.

I’ll say this again

From all of the crew

We love you dear Kev

Because you are you.’

Me: Perfect.

Nell: Oh dear. Ron Gilbert is stuck in traffic. He was due hours ago.

Me: Why?

Nell: He’s putting up the circus tent. Do keep up.

Me: A tent?

Nell: Where do you think the trapeze was going? They can’t perform in the rain.

Me: Do you mean Gladys?

Nell: Certainly not. The Whippets Institute minibus will be arriving shortly. They can turn their paws to most things when challenged.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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