Who can it be?

Me: Harriet looks exhausted.

Nell: She was in a meeting with Charlie and Sally until the early hours.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: There’s been a change of leadership at BAD.

Me: What on earth is BAD?

Nell: Everyone knows BAD. The Bad Animal Division of the UA.

Me: The UA?

Nell: United Animals.

Me: Oh dear. Do you have to be a bad animal to join?

Nell: Of course you do. Only bad animals are accepted. The idea is you start out bad and move into good.

Me: That’s actually a great idea.

Nell: Yes, in principle, but unfortunately some animals move from being bad to being nasty.

Me: Nasty?

Nell: Yes, really nasty. They make the Beefies look like angels.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: They belong to an underground organisation called The Black Claw.

Me: I’m scared already.

Nell: Yes. It is worrying. Sally thinks The Black Claw are trying to turn bad animals into nasty ones and are using BAD to do it.

Me: Dastardly.

Nell: She needs someone to go in undercover.

Me: I don’t think Harriet should be involved. She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. She is never more than a little bit naughty.

Nell: Naughty isn’t enough. They have to find someone who can pretend to be really bad.

Me: Not Dave? He is a good brave boy.

Nell: Of course not. David couldn’t be bad if he tried.

Me: Well, who is it?

Nell: They aren’t sure yet. But I think they have an idea.

Me: I’m not doing it. I can’t, Nell. I know I can be annoying but that isn’t enough.

Nell: It’s not you. Don’t be ridiculous.

Me: But I need to know.

Nell: Wait and see. Stop being so impatient. All will be revealed.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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