Me: Harriet looks exhausted.
Nell: She was in a meeting with Charlie and Sally until the early hours.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: There’s been a change of leadership at BAD.
Me: What on earth is BAD?
Nell: Everyone knows BAD. The Bad Animal Division of the UA.
Me: The UA?
Nell: United Animals.
Me: Oh dear. Do you have to be a bad animal to join?
Nell: Of course you do. Only bad animals are accepted. The idea is you start out bad and move into good.
Me: That’s actually a great idea.
Nell: Yes, in principle, but unfortunately some animals move from being bad to being nasty.
Nell: Yes, really nasty. They make the Beefies look like angels.
Me: Goodness me.
Nell: They belong to an underground organisation called The Black Claw.
Me: I’m scared already.
Nell: Yes. It is worrying. Sally thinks The Black Claw are trying to turn bad animals into nasty ones and are using BAD to do it.
Nell: She needs someone to go in undercover.
Me: I don’t think Harriet should be involved. She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. She is never more than a little bit naughty.
Nell: Naughty isn’t enough. They have to find someone who can pretend to be really bad.
Me: Not Dave? He is a good brave boy.
Nell: Of course not. David couldn’t be bad if he tried.
Me: Well, who is it?
Nell: They aren’t sure yet. But I think they have an idea.
Me: I’m not doing it. I can’t, Nell. I know I can be annoying but that isn’t enough.
Nell: It’s not you. Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: But I need to know.
Nell: Wait and see. Stop being so impatient. All will be revealed.
Me: Yes. Sorry.