Monday prawns

Me: What are you and Dave doing?

Nell: Checking for prawns.

Me: Prawns?

Nell: Yes. The Beefies have been dropping prawns on the roofers.

Me: You don’t want to miss one.

Nell: Certainly not. Although, I can think of better ways to spend a Monday morning.

Me: I don’t like Mondays.

Nell: You need to change your attitude. See Mondays as a new beginning. A fresh start.

Me: Every time I start writing, the roofers start banging.

Nell: All right Miss Grumpy Two Shoes.

Me: It’s Goody Two Shoes.

Nell: It most certainly isn’t. Nothing good about you. Walking around with a face like a wet Westie.

Me: You mean wet weekend.

Nell: I do not. The weekend was sunny. ‘Don’t eat the prawns, David. We don’t know where they’ve been. Just pass them on to Malcolm.’

Me: Talking of Malcolm, he looks like he has the cares of the world on his shoulders. If flamingos had shoulders.

Nell: Malcolm is going through a crisis.

Me: Wedding nerves?

Nell: Prawns.

Me: You’ve found most of them.

Nell: No. He’s gone off them.

Me: I don’t blame him.

Nell: He needs to eat them to maintain his colour. He can’t get married in grey.

Me: Many people do.

Nell: But Malcolm is a flamingo. He needs to be pink.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Poppy is on the case. She is making a carrot cake as we speak.

Me: Cake is always a comfort.

Nell: It’s about the beta carotene not the comfort. Do keep up. Did I just see Gladys being lowered down in the roofers’ bucket?

Me: I’m not sure it’s called a bucket but she is having great fun. Dave wants a turn later.

Nell: Do you seriously think David is going to be lowered off the roof in a bucket? He is the size of a small pony.

Me: No. Probably not. Sorry.

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