Me: What are you and Dave doing?
Nell: Checking for prawns.
Nell: Yes. The Beefies have been dropping prawns on the roofers.
Me: You don’t want to miss one.
Nell: Certainly not. Although, I can think of better ways to spend a Monday morning.
Me: I don’t like Mondays.
Nell: You need to change your attitude. See Mondays as a new beginning. A fresh start.
Me: Every time I start writing, the roofers start banging.
Nell: All right Miss Grumpy Two Shoes.
Me: It’s Goody Two Shoes.
Nell: It most certainly isn’t. Nothing good about you. Walking around with a face like a wet Westie.
Me: You mean wet weekend.
Nell: I do not. The weekend was sunny. ‘Don’t eat the prawns, David. We don’t know where they’ve been. Just pass them on to Malcolm.’
Me: Talking of Malcolm, he looks like he has the cares of the world on his shoulders. If flamingos had shoulders.
Nell: Malcolm is going through a crisis.
Me: Wedding nerves?
Me: You’ve found most of them.
Nell: No. He’s gone off them.
Me: I don’t blame him.
Nell: He needs to eat them to maintain his colour. He can’t get married in grey.
Me: Many people do.
Nell: But Malcolm is a flamingo. He needs to be pink.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Poppy is on the case. She is making a carrot cake as we speak.
Me: Cake is always a comfort.
Nell: It’s about the beta carotene not the comfort. Do keep up. Did I just see Gladys being lowered down in the roofers’ bucket?
Me: I’m not sure it’s called a bucket but she is having great fun. Dave wants a turn later.
Nell: Do you seriously think David is going to be lowered off the roof in a bucket? He is the size of a small pony.
Me: No. Probably not. Sorry.