Me: What have I done now?
Nell: You were supposed to be in disguise.
Me: I know.
Nell: Going incognito does not mean introducing us as Nell and Sara to a visiting family of French Bulldogs and wondering if they’ve eaten a baguette recently.
Me: I was making conversation.
Nell: You might as well have asked them if they’d seen any diamonds.
Me: I did and they hadn’t.
Nell: David is as bad as you. He has only gone and made friends with one of the French rooks.
Nell: They bonded over a cheese baguette.
Me: What happened?
Nell: David and Gladys were distracting Beefies down at the Quay dressed as Pierre and Fifi when a French rook commented on David’s onions.
Me: In French?
Nell: Yes. He said ‘Bon oignons, mon ami’.
Me: That was friendly.
Nell: David knows a few words so he replied ‘Zut alors’ which was highly inappropriate and something nobody French really says. It made the rook laugh so much he offered him half his cheese baguette.
Me: Kind of him. Any diamonds in it?
Nell: Of course not. They don’t put diamonds in all of them. Only the ones for special delivery.
Nell: And now David has invited him to tea so we are all going to have to be in disguise. Poppy is busy baking scones dressed as a French maid and Mutley is wearing a beret.
Me: That’s a bit excessive. Is the rook one of the NOIR family then?
Nell: Apparently Tour de France is just a simple baker from Brittany over here to improve his English.
Me: Tour de France? You can’t be serious. Does he ride a bicycle?
Nell: I’m deadly serious and only the fit and foolish cycle on these windy Devon roads as you well know.
Me: Yes. Sorry.