A Cunning Plan

Me: Those French rooks are back.

Nell: Yes, they are waiting for an answer.

Me: Harriet seems a little on edge and Dave is keeping an extremely close eye on her.

Nell: Yes. Anyone would be. Let’s be honest, nobody would choose to take tea with a black swan.

Me: I don’t know any black swans so I couldn’t possibly say.

Nell: You do. Madame Odile from the French bakery.

Me: Oh. I didn’t know she was a black swan. I thought only Sally was invited to tea.

Nell: Yes, with Mademoiselle Écarlate her French assistant.

Me: She doesn’t have one.

Nell: She does now.

Me: It’s not Gladys is it? Only I know she’s mastered the can-can but I’m not sure it’s suitable for tea.

Nell: No, it’s not Gladys.

Me: It’s Poppy. She wants to case the joint.

Nell: No, it’s not Poppy and kindly stop talking like an American gangster.

Me: Then it has to be you, although it’s hard to imagine you as anyone’s assistant.

Nell: It is not me.

Me: Now, you are going to laugh, but I just saw Harriet walk past in a long black cloak and veil.

Nell: That was Mademoiselle Écarlate.

Me: No, it was definitely Harriet.

Nell: You wouldn’t recognise a cunning plan if it was a chocolate Labrador wearing a black cloak and veil carrying a big sign saying “I’m a Cunning Plan”.

Me: Oh, I see now. Sorry.

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