The Devon Seagull

Me: Could I have a word?

Nell: Yes. Be quick about it as Susan’s Auntie Sandra and Uncle Stanley are waiting for an update down at the quay. They are posing as Beefies and sent me a photo of themselves on WoofsApp. Sandra has put on a little weight.

Me: How is Susan?

Nell: Stephen Seagull is treating her like a princess and showering her with fish. She knows it’s all show but at least she isn’t suffering. He says she should join the Beefies.

Me: Never. Now, do you happen to know why there is a giant headless seagull in the garden?

Nell: Yes. Timothy and The Cat are working on the head. It will be finished soon.

Me: So it’s not real then?

Nell: Of course it isn’t. It’s almost as tall as Kev’s independent man cave.

Me: Why is it there?

Nell: It’s a Devon Seagull. Malcolm is going to present it to Stephen Seagull when he goes to Beefy HQ later.

Me: It’s awfully large, Nell.

Nell: Yes, but it’s on wheels. It was Charlie’s idea. The inside is hollow with enough room to hide Owl Pacino and several of his patrol. Gladys and Poppy want to join them but I worry about the risk.

Me: Oh. Like a Trojan Horse?

Nell: No. Put your glasses on. It is clearly a bird even without the head. It has two legs for goodness sake. There is nothing horse about it.

Me: So the Beefies will be deceived?

Nell: Exactly. Once inside HQ the owls will fly out and cause havoc while Malcolm frees Susan.

Me: I think he is going to need Gladys and Poppy to do that.

Nell: Possibly. Gladys will be wearing her fighting suit, of course, and Poppy will have her sword and a bag of rock cakes.

Me: Will the others be there?

Nell: David and Mutley will be waiting outside in the getaway car with Harriet. She insisted on joining the fighting team and Charlie says I shouldn’t hold her back.

Me: And Count Bingo?

Nell: He will fly in with a flamboyance of flamingos. We are hoping for a clear sky and a good tailwind.

Me: What an imaginative plan.

Nell: Yes. Charlie likes to think outside the bowl.

Me: You mean box.

Nell: I most certainly do not. Don’t put words in my mouth.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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