Nell: What on earth is the matter with David?
Me: He just needs a cuddle. We all have days like that.
Nell: I know but he is wearing his “I’m just a poor boy nobody loves me” face.
Me: Yes. Isn’t it adorable?
Nell: He’s just tired and he’s been watching Bohemian Rhapsody with The Cat again if you ask me. Up until all hours.
Me: Probably.
Nell: I think he knows about Harriet’s trip to London to see Sally. He feels left out.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: It’s all this spy nonsense. He’s been prowling around in that sequinned lined trench coat listening at doors and you know what they say?
Me: “Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves?”
Nell: No. “If you can’t hear, don’t listen.”
Me: Mutley can’t hear but he’s a wonderful listener.
Nell: That’s not what it means. If you can’t take what you hear don’t listen in the first place.
Me: Oh. How is Charlie today?
Nell: He is doing well, considering. He says acceptance is the key. He has M’s full support.
Me: Maybe Mutley is M. He and Charlie were in deep discussion yesterday.
Nell: They were discussing fat free yoghurt, if you must know. Mutley is not a fan.
Me: Why on earth were they doing that?
Nell: It’s Poppy’s new healthy eating regime. She called a meeting and even suggested wholemeal scones.
Me: No?
Nell: Gladys actually fell out of my handbag with the shock of it. She only recovered after one of Malcolm’s macarons.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: By the way, how can Mutley be M when I told you she is female?
Me: Yes, but it might be a double bluff.
Nell: More like double fluff when it comes to you.
Me: Mutley’s name begins with M.
Nell: So does Malcolm’s.
Me: Malcolm? I’m not sure. He’s too shy for a spy.
Nell: Do stop.
Me: Yes. Sorry.