Me: What are the puppies doing?
Nell: Playing statues. Harriet has got the dinosaur look just right.
Me: Dinosaur?
Nell: Notice the long necked dinosaur behind her? Same pose.
Me: Very clever.
Nell: Yes. She is the reigning champion.
Me: I’ll have to try it.
Nell: Please don’t.
Me: Did the committee reach a decision on the size of portions?
Nell: Kev suggested lean venison snacks as a top up for David when he is being Marvellous.
Me: Good idea.
Nell: Yes. It encourages good behaviour and is nutritional. Weigh-ins are now compulsory for those on the list.
Me: Oh no.
Nell: Yours can be done in private.
Me: What a relief. Wasn’t Kitten supposed to be visiting Malcolm by the way?
Nell: She cancelled. Something to do with an emergency manicure. I found him weeping into his cornflakes this morning.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: The Cat suggested Linda and I’m beginning to think it might be right.
Me: Who is Linda?
Nell: You mean what is Linda? Everyone uses it. You swipe to the left or right. Gladys is on it all the time and Mutley is considering it.
Me: You mean Tinder.
Nell: I do not. What kind of a name is that?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
