Me: I feel like I am being watched.
Nell: You are.
Nell: Birthday preparations are going on and you are not to be trusted. There has also been an unfortunate incident down at the quay this morning and we don’t want you to become agitated.
Me: What happened? Poppy looks very focussed.
Nell: Poppy is observing David and Malcolm carrying something heavy into the garden.
Me: Oh, Crikey. Is it a dead body?
Nell: No, Miss Marple. Gladys was involved in an altercation and Poppy is taking a look at her bicycle. She’s a trained mechanic.
Me: Is Gladys alright?
Nell: Yes. A little shaken. A Beefy in spectacles and a long black wig swooped down on her near the estuary and she cycled into the water.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Fortunately a passing swan was on hand to help her out.
Me: How surprising. Swans aren’t usually helpful at all.
Nell: Yes. They can be very haughty because of their royal connections. This one, however, is perfectly delightful. He’s called Graham and he is a poet. He’s having a cup of Earl Grey in the kitchen with Timothy. They are both creatives, of course.
Nell: Now, Kev has lit the fire and Gladys will be joining you and Mutley after she has finished her warm milk and scone. David will sing a soothing song and is offering cuddles.
Me: Something must be done. This cannot continue. We can’t put the family at risk.
Nell: Calm down. Harriet has informed Robin Hoot and the owls are gathering. We need this sorted before your birthday on Wednesday.
Me: Yes. We’ve got family celebrations right through to Sunday.
Nell: I am aware. Who do you think has been organising it all?
Me: Yes. Sorry.