Me: I thought you were going to check on the cafe.
Nell: Don’t mention the cafe. After yesterday’s fiasco we are all exhausted.
Me: What happened?
Nell: Gladys and I went to check on the decorating and walked in on a full scale row between The Cat and Ron Gilbert.
Me: Gladys walked?
Nell: Not at first but when the paint hit my handbag she jumped out.
Me: What was going on?
Nell: The Cat was waving one of those large rollers around screaming and spraying everywhere with paint.
Me: And Ron Gilbert?
Nell: He was striding around in a dust sheet like a Roman emperor in a toga.
Me: Was he wearing a crown?
Nell: Of course he wasn’t wearing a crown. He is a builder and decorator. He was trying to avoid the paint.
Me: Where were the Australian cattle dogs?
Nell: Hiding behind the paint pots playing didgeridoos. Why on earth they thought that was helpful I do not know. They make a dreadful noise.
Me: I wish I’d been there.
Nell: The Cat refused to listen to reason so I called David and he and Harriet came over on his motorbike. Luckily they kept their helmets on as the paint kept flying.
Me: What was it about?
Nell: The colour scheme. I told you The Cat wanted turquoise but Ron Gilbert went for the duck egg blue.
Me: That was naughty.
Nell: David eventually managed to calm The Cat down and took it home for some tea and one of Poppy’s flapjacks.
Me: What did you do?
Nell: Harriet and I tried to reason with Ron Gilbert and that’s when he did a dreadful thing.
Nell: He dipped Gladys in the paint pot and rolled her on the door.
Me: Oh no!
Nell: He thought she was a brush. When she squealed he jumped in the air. Anyway, he couldn’t have been more sorry. He insisted on carrying her home.
Me: He must have looked awfully silly carrying a handbag.
Nell: He carried her on his back. I wasn’t having paint in my handbag.
Me: Is Gladys alright?
Nell: Yes. She quite likes her blue tipped ends. She says it’s like an ombré although I think it’s more of a balayage myself.
Me: I didn’t know you knew about hairdressing.
Nell: Of course I do. Nicky Bark and I used to work together. Do keep up.
Me: Of course. Sorry.