Book · Fall

Who ate my slipper?

Me: Somebody ate the end of my slipper.

Nell: We are aware and the culprit has confessed.

Me: It’s the second pair. This time it’s the toe and last time it was the heel.

Nell: Yes. The culprit regrets what has happened and will endeavour not to do it again.

Me: It was taken while I was asleep.

Nell: There is no point in dwelling on it. We all need to move on.

Me: It wasn’t you, was it?

Nell: What kind of question is that?

Me: Are you going to tell me who it was?

Nell: There is no need.

Me: You wouldn’t be like this if I ate your slipper.

Nell: True. I would be extremely concerned about your state of mind.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: Let’s all move on and put this incident behind us. It was a moment of madness.

Me: I know it was one of the puppies.

Nell: Actually you don’t and they are adolescents.

Me: Mutley would never eat my shoe and neither would Poppy.

Nell: I agree.

Me: Sometimes I think you enjoy annoying me.

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. The matter has been dealt with internally.

Me: I hate not knowing.

Nell: Just rise above it. We have menus to go through with Poppy and The Cat has created a mood board for the cafe.

Me: Just tell me.

Nell: We’ve decided to drop the raisin scones because of the dangers to dogs and I have to call Anton after his sad but justified departure from Strictly. I’m sorry but that woman simply couldn’t dance.

Me: But I need to know.

Nell: Labradors stick together. Pocket money will go towards new slippers. That’s all you need to know.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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