Small portions for the puppies today

Me: The puppies look awfully sad.

Nell: Yes, small portions for them today.

Me: Why?

Nell: Mutley and I were busy talking to Tall Hollywoof at the bakery.

Me: Yes.

Nell: When I heard the sound of munching.

Me: Mice?

Nell: No. Labradors. Eating doughnuts.

Me: Oh dear. Doughnuts are delicious, though.

Nell: That is not the point. It was playing right into Hollywoof’s paws. He left them there on purpose.

Me: As a treat?

Nell: No. He knew they would overindulge. Harriet stopped after three but David must have eaten at least six. They had to lie down with swollen tummies. Completely useless.

Me: Did you find out anything?

Nell: Hollywoof said he and Poppy are just friends and John has no need to get his collar in a twist.

Me: We know that, so why the rumours?

Nell: Well, the interesting thing was during our discussion Prue Beef walked in and guess who was with her?

Me: Sandi and Noel?

Nell: What are you talking about? No. Dominic Simmons. Nasty creature.

Me: Gosh. I bet he was shocked.

Nell: He was. Especially when Mutley raised his head and said: “Have you been spreading rumours, Simmons?”

Me: In his “Pleased to meet you, Mr Bond” voice?

Nell: Exactly.

Me: I wish I’d been there.

Nell: Dominic Simmons turned pale, which is saying something as he is already insipid, and started stuttering so Prue took him away.

Me: What did Hollywoof say?

Nell: He offered Mutley and I a doughnut and said they go well with coffee.

Me: We all know that. He’s keen on sharing his doughnuts, isn’t he?

Nell: Do keep up. It was a veiled threat. He and the Beefies are out to take over Starbarks from the Dobermans. I’m sure of it.

Me: Oh, I see. We are all just pawns in their dastardly game.

Nell: Good grief. Stop getting carried away and go and invite John to lunch. When he and Poppy realise what’s going on I am sure they will be reconciled. In the meantime the Sunday papers and a cup of Earl Grey will do nicely.

Me: You are right. Sorry.

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