Me: Did you have a nice lunch with Herr Schaeferhund? He is impossibly handsome I must say.
Nell: Yes. Siegfried and I had a lovely time. Lobster and champagne. He does spoil me. He has royal connections too, you know.
Me: Really?
Nell: Yes. European royalty. He was fascinated by my account of the wedding.
Me: I’m not sure you should be confiding in him, Nell.
Nell: I don’t know what you have against him.
Me: Dave doesn’t like him.
Nell: He’s just jealous and he doesn’t like studying. The Well Done rosette has gone to his head.
Me: He confiscated Dave’s hat.
Nell: He shouldn’t be wearing a hat during lessons.
Me: I didn’t want to tell you this but Harriet saw him chatting to the farm dogs.
Nell: Poppy goes to the pub with the farm dogs.
Me: Yes, but that’s Poppy. She’s always up for a pint of cider.
Nell: Enough of this nonsense. Siegfried makes polite conversation with our neighbours and you start fussing.
Me: The farm dogs don’t do polite conversation. How can a German tutor afford a Mercedes anyway?
Nell: He comes from a wealthy family. The tutoring is for fun while he is over here.
Me: So he is going back to Germany?
Nell: Yes. His family own a castle in Bavaria.
Me: You can’t leave us, Nell. What if he kidnaps you and imprisons you in his castle like in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
Nell: What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere. I am simply enjoying the company of a handsome German Shepherd.
Me: Ok.
Nell: I suppose I might visit if he asked me.
Me: No. Don’t go.
Nell: Enough. You have an overactive imagination. A cup of Earl Grey and the Sunday papers are required and less of your nonsense.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
