Me: Nell? Do you have a moment?
Nell: You know I like to watch my cooking programmes on a Saturday morning.
Me: Yes, I don’t need long. I was just wondering what you thought about trolls.
Nell: Trolls? Nasty little things with long thin hair?
Me: Possibly, although I meant the internet kind.
Nell: You mean the bullies?
Me: I do.
Nell: As I am constantly saying to David and Harriet when those farm dogs are insolent, you must try to turn the other jowl. Rise above it. Sashay away with tail in the air and a backward kick of the legs.
Me: Oh, I love the sashay away idea.
Nell: Please don’t sashay. It doesn’t bear thinking about. You know exactly what I mean. Don’t feed the trolls. Ignore them.
Me: Sometimes you can’t.
Nell: Then they must be banished. Manners maketh the dog and they have none.
Me: True.
Nell: Good. Let’s not waste any more time on this when there is cooking to watch. I do love James Martin. Thank goodness he is series linked.
Me: I know you do. I’ll just sashay away, then.
Nell: Enough.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
