Me: Now, I know you are annoyed but…
Nell: Take that thing off me right now.
Me: It would look so much better on you if you smiled.
Nell: I don’t do smiling.
Me: If you did that perky ear thing then.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: You know what I mean. The way your ears sort of go up and your face tilts.
Nell: It’s called listening. You should try it sometime.
Me: I thought it would suit you.
Nell: I told you.
Me: Yes, you did.
Nell: I am not that kind of dog. Leave the hippy stuff to the Afghans and fluffy animals like Poppy. Well, maybe not Poppy.
Me: Definitely not Poppy, although she would look sweet.
Nell: Don’t start.
Me: It was worth a try.
Nell: No, it was not worth a try. Annoying me and messing with my Sunday morning.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: If I am going to wear a hat it will be a Philip Treacy, or some other top designer.
Nell: It will be Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady.
Me: Goodness me.
Nell: Somebody get me a pot of Earl Grey. This has been a dreadful start to the day.
Me: Yes, sorry.