Me: I can’t believe it was Harriet.
Nell: Yes, an eye witness came forward placing her at the scene of the crime.
Me: And Dave?
Nell: David is completely innocent.
Me: That’s surprising to be honest.
Nell: Well, innocent of this particular crime anyway.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: During his cross examination David confessed to eating four cushions and two chairs.
Me: Oh dear. Has the sentencing taken place?
Nell: It has. All privileges have been withdrawn.
Me: Both puppies?
Nell: No. David is on a warning as he confessed.
Me: My poor little Harriet.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: What an ordeal. She needs a treat.
Nell: No treats.
Me: A cuddle then?
Nell: You are undermining the authority of the court.
Me: I know. But it’s ever so cold today, Nell, and she looks so sad.
Nell: Of course she does she is a labrador.
Me: Please.
Nell: You are making a mockery of the law.
Me: Sorry.
Nell: Go on then. A cuddle will help with her rehabilitation I suppose.