Top Dog

Me: So Labradors were voted Britain’s Top Dog!

Nell: Of course.

Me: I’m very pleased.

Nell: An obvious choice.

Me: Labradors rule!

Nell: Don’t get carried away.

Me: Go Labradors!

Nell: Enough now.

Me: Nell for Prime Minister!

Nell: Calm down.

Me: Harriet for Chancellor!

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Dave for Foreign Secretary!

Nell: That’s it. I can accept that I would be an excellent leader of the country and at a pinch Harriet could deal with finances as she is very level headed but the mere idea of David travelling around the world representing our country is more than I can take.

Me: He is ever so friendly, Nell. When we go to the beach he rushes over and welcomes all dogs.

Nell: He wanders off with other dogs. He joins their family. The animal is not to be trusted. He bounces.

Me: He always comes back though.

Nell: I can’t believe we are discussing David as Foreign Secretary. Look what you have made me do.

Me: You enjoyed that, Nell. You top dog.

Nell: I was top dog well before this announcement as you well know.

Me: Yes.

Nell: You need to learn restraint.

Me: I still like the idea of Dave as Foreign Secretary though.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Sorry.

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