Me: So Labradors were voted Britain’s Top Dog!
Nell: Of course.
Me: I’m very pleased.
Nell: An obvious choice.
Me: Labradors rule!
Nell: Don’t get carried away.
Me: Go Labradors!
Nell: Enough now.
Me: Nell for Prime Minister!
Nell: Calm down.
Me: Harriet for Chancellor!
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Dave for Foreign Secretary!
Nell: That’s it. I can accept that I would be an excellent leader of the country and at a pinch Harriet could deal with finances as she is very level headed but the mere idea of David travelling around the world representing our country is more than I can take.
Me: He is ever so friendly, Nell. When we go to the beach he rushes over and welcomes all dogs.
Nell: He wanders off with other dogs. He joins their family. The animal is not to be trusted. He bounces.
Me: He always comes back though.
Nell: I can’t believe we are discussing David as Foreign Secretary. Look what you have made me do.
Me: You enjoyed that, Nell. You top dog.
Nell: I was top dog well before this announcement as you well know.
Me: Yes.
Nell: You need to learn restraint.
Me: I still like the idea of Dave as Foreign Secretary though.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Sorry.