Nell: This photo is typical of you.
Me: Why? What have I done now?
Nell: I was having a word with the puppies
and you interrupted us again by taking a photo.
Me: Yes, I know but look at the way Dave is kissing your feet.
Nell: He is not kissing my feet. I am not some kind of goddess to be worshipped.
Me: Well, Dave does idolise you.
Nell: And it would be my paws anyway. I’m a dog.
Me: Was it a serious telling off? Only Harriet looks guilty.
Nell: Did you ask me to help with the bringing up of these puppies?
Me: Yes, I did.
Nell: And we agreed that I would take control.
Me: No, I don’t remember saying that.
Nell: With minimal interference from you.
Me: I’m not interfering. You all need me you know.
Nell: We know. Food and walks.
Me: And cuddles.
Nell: Sometimes I wonder who wants the cuddles.
Me: Dave and Harriet love cuddles.
Nell: David is partial to a cuddle but Harriet can take it or leave it.
Me: She is definitely your niece. So what did she do?
Nell: Confidences have been exchanged and the matter is being dealt with in the appropriate way.
Me: Was Dave guilty too?
Nell: I am dealing with this. You are hopeless at discipline.
Me: But I want to know.
Nell: Do we look like we want you to know?
Me: No, you don’t particularly.
Nell: Anything else? Only we need to finish our discussion.
Me: I still think I should be included.
Nell: Could you close the door on your way out.
Me: You are mean and I will find out.
Nell: The door?