Nell: This photo is typical of you.

Me: Why? What have I done now?

Nell: I was having a word with the puppies 

and you interrupted us again by taking a photo.

Me: Yes, I know but look at the way Dave is kissing your feet.

Nell: He is not kissing my feet. I am not some kind of goddess to be worshipped.

Me: Well, Dave does idolise you.

Nell: And it would be my paws anyway. I’m a dog.

Me: Was it a serious telling off? Only Harriet looks guilty.

Nell: Did you ask me to help with the bringing up of these puppies?

Me: Yes, I did.

Nell: And we agreed that I would take control.

Me: No, I don’t remember saying that.

Nell: With minimal interference from you.

Me: I’m not interfering. You all need me you know.

Nell: We know. Food and walks.

Me: And cuddles.

Nell: Sometimes I wonder who wants the cuddles.

Me: Dave and Harriet love cuddles.

Nell: David is partial to a cuddle but Harriet can take it or leave it.

Me: She is definitely your niece. So what did she do?

Nell: Confidences have been exchanged and the matter is being dealt with in the appropriate way.

Me: Was Dave guilty too?

Nell: I am dealing with this. You are hopeless at discipline.

Me: But I want to know.

Nell: Do we look like we want you to know?

Me: No, you don’t particularly.

Nell: Anything else?  Only we need to finish our discussion.

Me: I still think I should be included.

Nell: Could you close the door on your way out.

Me: You are mean and I will find out.

Nell: The door?

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