Me: Nell, have you got a moment?
Nell: I’m watching Masterchef USA.
Me: Well, pause it.
Nell: It’s a good bit.
Me: You and your cooking programmes.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: Yes, I know. I love them too.
Nell: Gordon Ramsay is being nice.
Me: I know. Odd isn’t it. Out of character. Sort of like if you started agreeing with me.
Nell: Never going to happen.
Me: I know.
Nell: Good try though.
Me: Thanks.
