Me: Nell and I would like to wish you all a very Happy New Year.

Nell: That’s a great action photo of Harriet and I. You definitely didn’t take it.

Me: No, I didn’t, Nell. Thank you for that. It was Marian.

Nell: Lovely lady. Lovely photos.

Me: I agree.

Nell: So, it’s finally 2018.

Me: Thank goodness. Here is to new beginnings.

Nell: So what are you beginning then?

Me: I’m not sure.

Nell: Beginning to listen to me hopefully.

Me: I always listen to you.

Nell: I mean really listen and not just hear what you want to hear.

Me: You are being very harsh today.

Nell: I’m tired. I had to wait up for you to come home.

Me: You know we always leave you in charge when we go out.

Nell: It was 2am.

Me: We were only at the neighbours.

Nell: You came back smelling of cat.

Me: There was a cat. But I only stroked it once.

Nell: Once is enough. A cat. The puppies are traumatised.

Me: Rubbish.

Nell: If this is how you are going to start 2018 I dread to think what’s next.

Me: Do you know that a donkey used to live in our house?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Called Darcy. It used to walk through the kitchen on its way out from the garden. The neighbours told us.

Nell: Sometimes I despair of you. Honestly I really do. Aren’t 5 dogs enough for you without cats and donkeys?

Me: I was only saying.

Nell: I’m going to have a lie down.

Me: Sorry.