Me: Happy Valentine’s Day Nell.
Nell: Thank you and the same to you.
Me: Dave is over the moon to have Sally visiting us, isn’t he?
Nell: I understand the red rose but the serenading is becoming rather tedious.
Me: He’s only sung a few songs. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: With a backing band and cartwheeling llamas?
Me: They caused quite a commotion at the Bus Stop.
Nell: The bus had to wait.
Me: Sally and the villagers loved it.
Nell: She loves everything Davey does.
Me: Stop being such a curmudgeon, Nell. They’re in love and it’s Valentine’s Day. Did you get anything for Rupert?
Nell: Driving gloves, if you must know. His paws get cold in winter when he’s on his motorbike.
Me: I saw your flowers and card.
Nell: Which ones?
Me: I beg your pardon. Did you have more than one card?
Nell: I had three, to be exact, and a dozen red roses, a bouquet of wild flowers and a bowl of spaghetti bolognese.
Me: I’m guessing Rupert gave you the wild flowers.
Nell: Correct.
Me: Loving, but not ostentatious. What about the red roses?
Nell: You won’t like it.
Me: It was that wretched lion, wasn’t it?
Nell: Lionel can’t help his feelings.
Me: I can’t believe you would accept roses from that animal.
Nell: He means well.
Me: What did the spaghetti bolognese say?
Nell: It was a very large bowl so I think it was probably for everyone.
Me: I mean the card?
Nell: It said ‘Benvenuto in famiglia’.
Me: Welcome to the family.
Nell: Your Italian is getting better.
Me: Don’t you see what that means?
Nell: No.
Me: It’s what the Mafia say. They call themselves The Family.
Nell: It was just a card. Calm down.
Me: Sorry.
