Me: Can we talk about dog beds, please?
Nell: If we must.
Me: I know you’re the Senior Labrador.
Nell: So I have the choice of bed.
Me: Yes, but when one of the others is fast asleep it would be kinder to let them stay in the bed and take the empty one next to it.
Nell: David was in the Best Bed.
Me: But when Dave got into the bed you were in the kitchen in another one.
Nell: I’m the Senior Labrador.
Me: You didn’t have to bark at him.
Nell: It was next to the fire. I need warmth during the colder months.
Me: Your bed in the kitchen is next to the radiator.
Nell: I wasn’t in the kitchen.
Me: You were at first.
Nell: A lady has the prerogative to change her mind.
Me: You’re becoming extremely demanding in your old age.
Nell: Moving on, you and Kev are choosing the Christmas tree today.
Me: I hope so. I’m not feeling my best but I’d like to choose it.
Nell: What’s wrong with you?
Me: I’m a bit sniffly and have a sore throat.
Nell: You shouldn’t have gone swimming yesterday.
Me: You might be right.
Nell: I’m always right.
Me: No, you’re not, Nell. This is exactly what I was talking about before.
Nell: Back to the tree, have you found the box of decorations?
Me: Yes. I thought they were in the loft but they were in the wardrobe.
Nell: Did you send Kev up into the loft for no reason?
Me: No. There was a reason. We were looking for the decorations.
Nell: Why didn’t you look in the wardrobe first?
Me: Because I only remembered when Kev shouted out ‘They’re not up here’.
Nell: And you criticise me.
Me: Sorry.
